Red vs. Blue

Why Are We Here?

The Reds contemplate their purpose at Blood Gulch, the Blues watch carefully.

Red Gets a Delivery

The Reds get a new vehicle, the Blues complain about it.

The Rookies

Both armies get new recruits and decide they don't like them.

Head Noob in Charge

Donut mistakes Blue Base for the Store, the Blue Rookie gives away the flag.

The Package is in the Open

The Blues try to get the flag back, Donut gets lost.

1.21 Giga-Whats??

Church confronts Donut, Grif and Simmons set out to rescue their rookie.

Check Out the Treads on That Chick

The Reds keep the Blues pinned, Blue Teams rookie tests out the new tank.

Dont PH34R the Reaper

Grif and Simmons run for their lives, mistakes get made on Blue Team.

After Church

The Blues press the attack while the Reds try to hold out.

Shadow of His Former Self

Tucker requests reinforcements, and gets more than he bargained for.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Pain

Lopez repairs the Warthog, while Grif takes the blame for its destruction. Meanwhile, at the Blue Base, Tex uses Caboose for target practice, while ignoring Tucker's attempts at friendly conversation. Tex suddenly decides to leave in order to infiltrate the Red base. During the attack, Tex sticks a plasma grenade to Donut's head and, in the ensuing chaos, also attacks Grif and Simmons.

Down, But Not Out

Having knocked out Grif and Simmons after attacking Donut, Tex retrieves the Blue flag, but is surprised and captured by Sarge and Lopez. Church appears again at the Blue Base and reveals that Tex is actually female. Back at the Red Base, Donut, badly injured from the grenade explosion, is Airlifted out of the gulch for treatment. Tex eventually regains consciousness, and her voice modulator malfunctions, revealing her gender to the Reds.

Human Peer Bonding

Church tells Tucker and Caboose that Tex is not only female, but also his ex-girlfriend. Simmons and Grif are left to guard Tex. Meanwhile, Church continues to explain the situation to Tucker and Caboose, revealing that Tex's meanness and toughness are partially due to an AI in her armor. He then outlines a plan to rescue Tex.

Roomier Than It Looks

To distract the Reds and deceive them into believing that the Blues have more Special Operations soldiers, Tucker and Caboose go through the teleporter to turn their armor black. When they attack the Red Base, Tucker's bickering with Caboose leads to Church admitting that "I can'tn believe I died for this war." Sarge mistakes Caboose's stupidity for tactical brilliance and summons Grif to help to repel this new attack, leaving Simmons alone guarding Tex. Church possesses Sarge's body and uses it to deceive Simmons and free Tex. However, Caboose, wishing to impress Church and make amends for killing him, shoots Sarge in the head with the sniper rifle, not knowing that Church was possessing Sarge's body; Caboose quickly blames Tucker for this.

How the Other Half Lives

Now both dead, Sarge and Church meet in the spiritual plane and talk. Sheila also appears here, but is quickly rebuked by Church, who is still angry at her for killing him. Church represents himself to Sarge as an angel and offers to lead him to heaven for a fee. The two swap complaints about their teammates until Grif revives Sarge by using cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Having forgotten his spiritual experience, Sarge initially thanks Simmons, but, upon learning that it was Grif who saved him, berates Grif for the illogicality of using CPR "for a bullet wound to the head." During when Sarge tells Grif off about the bizzare treatment, he shouts out "What were to happen when someone shoots me in the foot, you'd rub my neck with Aloe Vera?!"

A Slightly Crueler Cruller

A healed Donut returns from Red Command with new pink armor, which he insists is "lightish red". Sarge pokes fun at Donut by addressing him with feminine titles like "Madam","Strawberry Shortcake", "Pretty in Pink", "Barbie", and "Princess Peach". Sarge reveals that Lopez is actually a robot, which Grif has trouble with ("Did the fact he never talks get to you?" "I just thought he was a silent guy." "Not even that he drinks motor oil and sleeps standing up?" "I thought he was just trying to impress me"), and finally gets around to installing his voice card, but neglects to ground himself; static electricity damage to the card results in Lopez's inability to speak anything other than Spanish, which none of the Reds understand.

Points of Origin

Tucker, Caboose, and Church convince Tex to help them, since they rescued her as a favor. Meanwhile, the Red Team is still trying to understand what Lopez is saying. While Tex begins to repair Sheila, Church goes to higher ground to spy on the Reds. Finding his dead body still on the cliff, he berates his teammates for having neglected to give him a proper burial.

SPF 0

The Blues continue to discuss what to do with Church's corpse. After an interlude demonstrating the Reds' boredom, the episode cuts back to Church, who worries that Tex will soon kill the entire Red Team. If successful, she would then leave, probably never to be seen again, before Church could remove the AI from her armor. To prevent this, Church decides to warn the Red Team of her impending attack. After Church leaves, Caboose spies Donut through a sniper rifle, exclaims that the Reds have a girl, and ineptly reveals Church's plan to Tex.

Last One Out, Hit the Lights

Church possesses Lopez's body to warn the Red Team, but finds that he can only speak Spanish. Caboose radios Church to inform him that Tex is almost ready. To Tucker's surprise, Caboose identifies himself as "O'Malley" and denies that he has ever confirmed his name as Caboose. Tex and Sheila then attack the Red Base. Sarge and Simmons attempt to repel them using the Warthog, but fail dismally. Ironically, it is Donut, still angry at being blown up earlier and being stuck in pink armor, who manages to kill Tex and disable Sheila by pitching a plasma grenade halfway across the gulch ("Man, that girl's got a really good arm!"). Church runs to Tex's aid, taking Lopez's body with him. Sarge mistakes this for a suicide charge by Lopez and lets him go. In her dying words, Tex thanks Church for ridding her of the AI. Meanwhile, Caboose adopts a deep, menacing voice, repeating that his name is "O'Malley".

Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles, Part 1

Everything Old is New Again

Three months after Tex's second attack on the Red Base, Medical Officer DuFresne ("Doc") arrives in Blood Gulch and contacts Blue Command for orders. He reports to the Blue Team to treat Tex, who has already died.[2] Church explains this to Doc, noting how his and Tex's bodies are both buried in front of Blue base. More helpfully, Caboose conveniently recaps the first season, explaining that Church is actually a ghost possessing Lopez's robot body, which has since been spray-painted cobalt. Caboose has also apparently begun to habitually utter death threats to Tucker in a deep, menacing voice. With nobody injured, Doc, on loan to both armies due to a lack of resources, prepares to visit the Red Team next, but the Reds suddenly attack.

Motion to Adjourn

With the Reds continuing their attack, Church and Tucker argue over defense strategy. Despite his protest that he is only a medic, DuFresne is officially nicknamed "Doc" by Church, who coerces him into helping by shooting Caboose's pinky toe. Meanwhile, the Reds run out of ammunition, due to Grif's failure to bring extra rounds, and consequently try to bluff the Blues into surrendering.

Red vs. Bleu

The two teams negotiate terms. The Reds demand Lopez's return, but Church is loath to surrender his new body; instead, he cedes Doc as a hostage. In return, Grif is forced to publicly humiliate himself, to the delight of all, particularly Sarge.

The Joy of Toggling

In order to repair Sheila, Church and Tucker try to determine how to activate the repair sequence in Church's robot body. Church only manages to find the time and temperature function, but Tucker discovers a small switch on Church's crotch. When flipped, it activates a strange beeping noise audible only to Church. Back at the Red Base, the Warthog begins to beep, and announces that its homing beacon has been activated.

Sweet Ride

Sarge reveals that he had put a remote control in the Warthog to allow Lopez to drive it remotely. Meanwhile, Church, who cannot stand the remote's beeping sound, begs Tucker and Caboose to deactivate it, but the switch breaks. While the other Blues continue trying to help, Church unwittingly causes the Warthog to scoop up Doc and then to attempt to kill Sarge. Having pinned the latter against the wall of Red Base, the Warthog slowly advances its firing machine gun toward his head as the episode ends.

Last Words

Tucker disconnects the wire that had connected to Church's switch, thereby stopping the beeping noise, but also disabling Church's legs. The Warthog deactivates, sparing Sarge. Driving the Warthog, Doc attempts to unpin Sarge, but only manages to ram him into the wall twice more, and the Reds consequently decide to return him to the Blues. When Simmons and Grif arrive at the Blue Base, they see Tucker still kneeling in front of Church attempting to repair his legs, and quickly jump to conclusions.

Nobody Likes You

The Blues refuse to accept Doc back from the Reds, fearing that he might be spying for them. The Reds eventually give up and return to their base. Doc attempts to return with them, but the Reds quickly ditch him, leaving him alone. Doc attempts to return once more to the Blues, but they remain suspicious of him and reject him again.

Nine Tenths of the Law

At the Red Base, Donut unsuccessfully attempts to engage Sarge in idle chatter while waiting for Simmons and Grif to return. The two eventually do arrive back and report their failure. Back at the Blue Base, with Church still immobile, Caboose suggests that Church leave his body, so that Lopez can make any repairs to himself and Sheila. After expressing surprise that such a clever idea had come from Caboose, Church and Tucker endorse the plan. Church leaves Lopez's body, but Tucker and Caboose pay no attention to Lopez, who flees before Church can reappear in spirit form. The Blues then chase after him. Meanwhile, the Reds spot Lopez running toward their base, and mistake him for a Blue. Sarge and Simmons prepare to counterattack, while Donut annoys Grif with more idle chatter.

In Stereo Where Available

Tucker and Caboose catch up to Lopez, who refuses to re-join them and instead orates at length about oppression and the advent of a new day for his people. Sarge and Simmons try to run him over with the Warthog having mistaken him for a Blue soldier, but Lopez activates the Warthog's remote destruction sequence in self-defense and, feeling betrayed, defects to the Blues.

The Last Episode Ever

Released on April Fool's Day and the anniversary of Red vs. Blue's first episode, the episode begins with Grif and Donut crying over the graves of Sarge and Simmons, following the events of episode 28. Sarge appears and explains that he had only been napping, and had escaped by eating his way out of the ground with his spoon. Simmons' ghost appears to give the Red team a warning, but Donut shoots and kills him, explaining that Simmons' ghost is actually "Ol' Man Caboose". Tucker and Doc appear and announce their engagement, over which a French-speaking Lopez, apparently in love with Tucker, laments. Church awakes and realizes that this episode had apparently been merely a dream, when he finds himself confronted by the French-speaking Lopez.

Radar Love

The Blues convince Lopez to repair Sheila. As he works, Grif spies him through a sniper rifle and assumes that there is a "new" Blue soldier. The Red Team discusses various explanations. Donut manages to guess the truth, but no one believes him. Once Lopez finishes repairs, he and Sheila fall in love with each other, much to Caboose's dismay. To disrupt the odd love triangle, Church attempts to possess Lopez again, but is unsuccessful; instead, it is Tex who suddenly appears in Lopez's body.

I Dream of Meanie

While Caboose talks to a now-confused Sheila, Tex reveals to the rest of the Blues that she had been watching them for some time and had noticed Caboose's aggressive behavior. She explains that her former artificial intelligence (AI), O'Malley, had jumped via radio to Caboose when it had assessed that she was unlikely to survive her second attack on the Red Base at the end of season 1. Using Lopez's body as a bargaining chip, she asks Church's help in killing the AI. Meanwhile, at the Red Base, Sarge realizes that the Reds no longer have anyone with an ability to repair things and, after some arguments, prepares to turn Simmons into a cyborg.

Room for Rent

Tex explains that everyone in Blood Gulch must turn off their radios so that O'Malley will be unable to jump into someone else's armor when flushed out of Caboose. The ghosts of Church and Tex jump into Caboose's mind to find O'Malley. They meet Caboose's mental image of Tucker, as well as Caboose's inner self. The real Tucker and Lopez take Sheila to the Red Base to convince the Reds to turn off their radios.

Me, Myself and You

In Caboose's mind, Tex and Church meet Caboose's mental image of the latter — vulgar, insulting, and under the impression that he is "Caboose's best friend". At the Red Base, Donut and Grif search near the Warthog for a part needed for Simmons' cyborg operation and begin to panic when they see Sheila, Tucker, and Lopez approaching. The episode ends with Tucker having difficulty in trying to brake Sheila.

An Audience of Dumb

Donut flees from the approaching Blues, but, still unable to brake, Tucker runs over Grif and the Warthog with Sheila. Tucker radios the Red Team to tell them to turn off their radios. Initially they refuse, so Lopez sings a love song about Sheila over the radio until they relent. Meanwhile, Church and Tex meet Caboose's mostly incorrect mental images of the Red Team. O'Malley suddenly kills Caboose's mental image of Church — thus making Caboose completely forget who Church is — and the real one and Tex subsequently give chase. Eventually trapping O'Malley, the two, hoping that Tucker had been successful, shoot him, chasing him out of Caboose's mind. Without any means of jumping to another armor, O'Malley signals "cockbites" in Morse code as he gradually fades. However, in a scene deleted from the DVD he detects one last radio transmission from Doc, who is attempting to contact Blue Command, and takes possession of him.

Aftermath, Before Biology

Disoriented from the events of the previous episode, Doc discovers a hovercraft in a cave and consults with Vic, who proves to be unhelpful. Meanwhile, Tex has disappeared, and Grif awakes from surgery to find that Sarge has replaced most of his organs, which had been damaged in the accident with Sheila, with those left over from Simmons' cyborg operation.

What's Mine is Yours

With O'Malley having previously killed Caboose's mental image of Church in episode 33, Church unsuccessfully tries to re-establish Caboose's memory of him. At the Red Base, Simmons chides Grif for continuing his old unhealthy habits in his rebuilt body. Sarge announces the need to re-acquire Lopez, as his memory contains secret plans from Red Command.

Blunderball

Caboose is jealous of the relationship between Lopez and Sheila, who are now refusing to work due to perceived poor treatment by the soldiers — that is, being repeatedly blown up, possessed or left outside to rust. Eventually, they consider forming their own robot army. At the Red Base, Sarge sends Grif and Donut out to try to spy on the Blue Team. While on the mission, Grif, who cannot stand Donut's childish behavior, tricks him into exploring the caves by himself. Donut then spots Doc and O'Malley talking to each other, in the manner of Gollum and Sméagol in The Lord of the Rings. Overhearing O'Malley's evil plans, Donut tries to return to his base, only to become lost and eventually captured at the Blue Base.

Dealer Incentive

The Blues attempt to interrogate Donut, without much success. Church then possesses Donut and, using him as a hostage and a puppet, negotiates with the Reds to have them to build new robot bodies for himself and Tex. While Tucker continues to haggle with Sarge over the specifications for the robots, Church leaves Donut's body and returns to Blue Base to find that Lopez and Sheila are missing.

K.I.T. B.F.F.

Church discovers a note from Sheila and Lopez confirming that they have started a robot army. At the Red Base, Sarge unveils the two new robots; one contains a microphone to spy on the Blues, and the other contains a bomb. The Reds and the Blues meet in the center of the gulch to execute the exchange. Sheila and Lopez also arrive to conquer the Blues; Lopez becomes angry at seeing new robots brought into the conflict, and rushes forward to attack. A tense Mexican standoff results, and Sarge tries to call an air strike. However, due to crossed communication channels, Tucker intercepts his message, and realizes that Vic is apparently working for both Red and Blue Commands. While Church possesses one of the robots, Tucker tries to alert everyone that Red and Blue are the same, but is hit by a rocket before anyone can understand him. His attacker is apparently Doc, possessed by O'Malley, who flies around on the hovercraft, firing rockets at will. In the ensuing chaos, O'Malley takes Lopez as a hostage, announces his intention to conquer the universe, and disappears through the Red Team's teleporter. The Reds and Blues call a temporary truce to pursue Doc, whom the Blues need to heal Tucker, and to retrieve Lopez, whom the Reds need for the plans his memory contains. Donut, Sheila, Tucker, and one of the robots remain behind in the gulch while everyone else follows through the teleporter. Tex soon surfaces in the remaining robot body. Unfortunately, due to a teleporter malfunction, the pursuing Reds and Blues end up separated and scattered across different places. Simmons ends up in a huge area full of teleporters, Church and Grif end up captured by Max Gain, a member of the Red team in Sidewinder, and Sarge and Caboose appear in the stream in Battle Creek.

Best Laid Plans

Donut tries to coax an injured Tucker into getting up, conveniently providing a recap of the end of the previous season in the process. Sarge and Caboose find themselves in Battle Creek, in the midst of perpetually respawning Red and Blue soldiers ("Grunts"), who engage in a complex action sequence of Capture The Flag in Halo. Meanwhile, Simmons is lost in a place full of teleporters (the Chiron TL34 map), and Grif and Church have been imprisoned by the Red Team on Sidewinder.

Visiting Old Friends

In an unknown location (Longest map), Wyoming, another freelancer, interrogates a soldier named Phil, but is interrupted by a phone call hiring him for another job. Meanwhile, still in Battle Creek, Sarge and Caboose steal the Red and Blue flags in an attempt to coerce the teams to help them find their way out. When that fails, Caboose recalls O'Malley's possession, unleashes his angry side, and single-handedly eliminates both teams. Simmons then retrieves them via a teleporter.

Let's Get Together

O'Malley calls Vic and reveals his plot to eliminate both the Red and Blue Teams and to rule the universe. He also informs Vic that, to preserve Vic's secret, he has hired an assassin to kill Tucker, the only person who knows that Blue Command and Red Command are the same. Back in Blood Gulch, Tex tells Tucker that Wyoming, the assassin hired to kill him, is a freelancer from the same experimental program as Tex, and, like Tex, he had been enhanced with artificial intelligence. During the conversation, Tucker hints that something happened to the state of Florida, the group takes a moment of silence. Still in the teleporter hub with Simmons and Caboose, Sarge contacts Donut to inform him of the "Blue plot" and that Tucker's idea that Red and Blue are the same is nothing but a deception. Wanting to help to find Church, Caboose unwittingly presses a button that activates the bomb in Church's robot body. On Sidewinder, Church consequently lets out a large belch, and his stomach begins to tick.

You're the Bomb, Yo

Simmons reprograms a teleporter and advises Donut on reprogramming the Reds' teleporter in Blood Gulch. On Sidewinder, Wyoming kills all of the Reds and tells Church and Grif that he is leaving them to starve to death. Meanwhile, everyone else emerges from the teleporter on Sidewinder, Tucker covered with "black stuff" (which luckily prevents Wyoming from recognizing and shooting him). While Donut and Caboose clean off Tucker's armor, the jail cell holding Church and Grif mysteriously opens. Wyoming spots Tucker from afar and aims at him; Tex ambushes him, but O'Malley, Wyoming's employer, ambushes her.

Make Your Time

O'Malley activates Lopez's "secret weapon", a weather control device that Sarge had almost finished. The Red and Blue Teams join forces to confront O'Malley, who begins to wreak havoc with his rocket launcher. Simmons manages to teleport the Battle Creek zealots to Sidewinder and convinces them to attack and defeat O'Malley. Lightning from Lopez's weather device hits Church, thereby damaging the bomb in his body. When Sarge is subsequently unable to disable the bomb, Tucker tries to destroy Church with O'Malley's rocket launcher before Church explodes, but Wyoming snipes the launcher out of Tucker's hand. The bomb explodes and, due to the damage received from the lightning, destroys the present as well, sending both teams (except Church) to the future (Halo 2). Donut attempts to direct a play to explain this sequence of events to Tucker. The group reasons that they were blown into the future because they were standing in front of Church; Tucker deduces that Church must have been blown into the past. Meanwhile, on a Marathon 2 map, Church appears, wondering what has happened.

We Must Rebuild

Exploring the wasteland in the future, Grif, Simmons, and Tucker discuss various Hollywood post-apocalyptic clichés. The group finds a jeep and bickers over it. Tucker is bent on finding Church, but Sarge asserts that Church, along with the group's enemies, had died in the explosion. Meanwhile, a cackling O'Malley discovers Lopez's disembodied head on a beach.

New Toys

While Sarge and Donut try to repair the Warthog, Grif, Tucker, and Simmons argue about styling the jeep in order to attract women. Tucker still maintains that Red and Blue are the same, but no one believes him. Meanwhile, O'Malley, Doc, and Lopez inspect some real estate (Zanzibar in Halo 2); O'Malley and Doc argue over its viability and over how the computer inside should be used.

The Greatest Episode Ever

Available only to sponsors or on the Season 3 DVD and produced solely by Gustavo Sorola while the rest of the production crew had been out of town. This episode continues or replaces the events of episode 45, though is non-canon, and features paper cutouts as characters while portraying Simmons as a hero.

We're Being Watched

Having moved into the fortress, O'Malley, Doc, and Lopez repair the turret emplacements and meet the Red Zealot, who believes that he has found a holy temple. Exploiting The Red Zealot's religious fervor, O'Malley deceives him into performing menial tasks for him. O'Malley then catches a glimpse of Tex, who is spying on him, but on subsequent glances, sees nothing. Elsewhere, Sarge, Grif, and Simmons discuss the results of Grif and Simmons' failed reconnaissance, and, while attempting to push the Warthog out of a ditch, receive a transmission from Tex informing them of O'Malley's location.

It's a Biological Fact

The Reds, Tucker, and Caboose meet with Tex on the beach near O'Malley's fortress, where she reveals her plan to destroy both O'Malley and the entire base by planting a bomb inside. Tex has scouted the base and found the exact location to place the bomb. However, citing the bomb's immense weight, she has someone else carry it; of the others, only Caboose can lift it. Meanwhile, the Red Zealot informs O'Malley and Lopez that a crowd of people is gathering on the beach. Upon learning that Lopez is inside with O'Malley, the Reds balk at destroying the base, but Tex refuses to risk losing her chance to defeat O'Malley. Tucker solves the problem by reminding the Reds that, since Tex is a mercenary, they can simply hire her to help them to retrieve Lopez. Tex agrees to this arrangement for a future favor.

Heavy Metal

After discarding two of Sarge's suicidal battle plans, the Blood Gulch group invades O'Malley's fortress and are pinned down by mini-gun turrets manned by the Red Zealot and Lopez's head. Tex snipes Lopez's head off his turret, but the Zealot pins her down with gunfire. Simmons and Grif manage to enter the base and move on to look for O'Malley. Tucker, who had fallen into a hole near the windmill, finds a mysterious sword, and uses it to kill the Red Zealot. Meanwhile, carrying the bomb inside the fortress, Caboose mistakes Tex's "X" marking for a plus sign. He continues on and stumbles across a computer, from which he hears the voice of Church.

Roaming Charges

In the past, Church (as a Marathon character) finds a computer terminal, which answers some questions for him. Church is in the housing facility for The Great Weapon, which The Great Destroyer will use to bring Great Doom to the galaxy in 1,856 years. When computer describes The Great Destroyer as a "blue being" who "will be known as the stupidest life form in the universe", Church assumes that it must be referring to Caboose. 1,856 years in the future, Caboose asks Sarge to look at the computer terminal, which is playing a message from Church. The message tells Caboose not to touch anything, lest he bring about Great Doom. Specifically, Caboose should avoid bringing the "glowing sword weapon thingy" into the base, as the place will lock its doors. Tucker and Donut stroll in with the sword, and the base locks down, with Caboose's bomb already counting down inside it. In the past, Church finishes recording his message, but, deciding that it will not suffice, asks the terminal to transport him to Blood Gulch so that he can prevent the whole fiasco. While telling knock-knock jokes to pass the time, the terminal begins the millennium-long process of researching and building a teleporter.

Silver Linings

The computer completes the teleporter and reveals its name to be Gary. Church teleports back to Blood Gulch shortly before the series begins. The moment Church is teleported away, however, another Church runs in and tells Gary to teleport him to Sidewinder instead, because he screwed everything up. Back at Blood Gulch prior to the events of episode 1, this Future Church decides to try and prevent the death of Tex, which would prevent O'Malley from escaping and causing the events leading up to The Great Doom. He finds, however, that he either has no effect, or causes the events by his presence in the first place: * Lopez's legs malfunction because Future Church, in trying to get him a larger switch, kicked dirt into the switch Sarge decided to use when building the robot. * Prior to episode 1, the Blues were under the charge of Captain Butch Flowers. Knowing Flowers would die, Future Church gives him aspirin, but Flowers dies of a heart attack due to an allergy of the medicine. Tucker, at this point in Blue armor, takes Flowers' cyan armor. * Donut, in rookie Red armor, finds the Blue Base and steals the flag because Future Church, failing to recognize him outside of pink armor, gives him directions. * Future Church attempts to prevent the death of his past self, which would stop Tex from arriving in Blood Gulch. He awakens the tank and runs through her protocols to try and prevent her from shooting him later. She refers to herself as Phyllis, and overrides her name when Church addresses her as Sheila. Future Church turns off a "friendly fire protocol," which in actuality prevents friendly fire; thus the original Church's death takes place because of Future Church. * Finding a sniper rifle on the corpse of his past self, Future Church picks it up but drops it later. Caboose finds it, and uses it to shoot Sarge. * Attempting to kill Donut to stop him from killing Tex, Future Church fails and retreats to the cave, frustrated. Caboose

Episode 50 Part 2

The funeral of Church and Tex, prior to the events of Season 2, takes place. Future Church continues his attempts to change things for the better, but still ends up causing the disasters he was trying to prevent: * Future Church, posing as Captain Flowers, contacts Vic to try and get him to tell the Reds to get rid of Doc, to stop the medic from being infected by O'Malley. Vic misconstrues his words to believe the Red and Blue teams have merged, but that the soldiers must not know. Thus, the Red and Blue Commands merge. * To stop them from making a robot army, Future Church tries to dissuade Lopez and Sheila from the idea. Instead, he gives them the idea himself, and they decide to build and hide a rocket-launching vehicle in the caves. * Future Church decides to fix the Red teleporter before it malfunctions and sends the characters to various places, just as Sheila rams the base. Future Church is knocked out, and the teleporter begins giving off sparks. * During the Mexican standoff where O'Malley appears, Future Church finds a rocket launcher and aims to take the villain out. Instead, he shoots and injures Tucker from behind, and again decides to retreat to the caves.

Have We Met?

Future Church watches Tex, Donut and Tucker leave for Sidewinder, and soon follows them. He talks first to Sheila before leaving for Sidewinder, asking her to do him an inaudible favor. Once at Sidewinder, Future Church finds his past self and Grif in prison, and opens their cell by pressing a button in another room. He attempts to contact Tex, who is currently being held by O'Malley and Wyoming, before another Church approaches him. This new Church claims that he fails to stop the bomb, and gets blown back in time again, only to return to Sidewinder. He then tells Future Church to "meet us at the top of the ramp." The bomb goes off, and Future Church is sent back in time. As seen in Episode 50, as soon as Church is teleported by Gary to Blood Gulch, Future Church arrives and asks to be sent to Sidewinder because he screwed everything up. Just then, more Churches arrive, each having been unsuccessful to stop the bomb, and thus sent back in time to Gary. These Churches all meet in Sidewinder, and explain to the newest Church how their various plans failed. It is determined that whichever Church did each one of these plans already must be the successful Church, since he isn't sent back in time again. This Church gives up on trying to correct everything, instead freeing Tex, and rejoining the Blood Gulch soldiers before the explosion, thus being sent into the future. Church emerges at O'Malley's base, just in time to ask Gary, who remains there, to stop the bomb from detonating. He then prepares to explain the events he went through.

Come to Order

Caboose asks Church why he did not try to save himself, Tex, or create millions of copies of himself trying to defuse the bomb when he was in the past. Church warns Tucker that Gary said the sword was dangerous, but Tucker blows it off. Meanwhile, the Reds covertly meet to discuss a distress signal on the Red Army's open channel, which was picked by the radio in the Warthog. This episode features an unknown character ducking behind a rock.

Hello My Name is Andrew

The Blues watch the Reds play with their radio, at a loss for a motive. Caboose explains that they are talking about the distress signal, an explanation he got from "Andy". The Reds are discussing the distress signal, which Simmons cannot pinpoint due to the substandard equipment. Caboose introduces Tucker and Tex to Andy, the deactivated bomb. Predictably, it won't talk to them. However, Gary the terminal knows Andy very well.

Defusing the Situation

Andy starts talking to the rest of the Blue Team, and is quickly revealed to be rude and volatile. Caboose and the Blues try to calm him down so he won't explode. Meanwhile, the Reds are planning on escaping in the Warthog to find the source of the distress signal. Grif is sent to find out what the Blues are doing, only to be confused when he finds them trying to soothe Andy. Unbeknownst to all, O'Malley has assembled a huge army of robot Lopez duplicates outside the base, which he orders to kill everyone and retrieve the "device".

Calm Before the Storm

The Reds puzzle over why the Blues were talking to the bomb, and Sarge concludes that they are trying to re-arm it as part of a pre-emptive attack strategy. O'Malley's army turns out to be extremely slow-moving: Lopez built them that way so they would win in exactly 24 hours, since O'Malley said he wanted a day of victory. Meanwhile, the Blues have finally managed to calm Andy down, but are interrupted by explosions and plasma fire as O'Malley's attack begins. Believing that the Blues are attacking, Sarge orders the Reds into battle.

The Storm

O'Malley berates Lopez for creating such a slow moving army. In revenge, Lopez tricks O'Malley into insulting himself in Spanish. The Reds flee the battle in the Warthog to track down the distress signal. Donut is left behind to discourage pursuit, but manages to steal O'Malley's hovercraft and rejoin his teammates. Tex steals Tucker's sword so she can fight the robots; Church decides that she must be The Great Destroyer from the prophecy. An unseen figure wipes out O'Malley's army with a volley of plasma grenades, and then attacks a startled O'Malley. Lopez's fate is left unrevealed. Shortly after Donut catches up with the other Reds in a cave, Simmons and Grif track the signal out of the cave, finding themselves back in Blood Gulch (Coagulation in Halo 2). This discovery is accompanied by a lengthy scream of "Noooooooooo!" from Grif. Back at the fortress again, Church and Tucker admire the slaughtered robots and congratulate Tex, but she admits she's not responsible: she was in the basement, trying to get the sword to work. Church rushes over to Gary to question him about the identity of The Great Destroyer, unaware that an Alien is sneaking up on him.

Familiar Surroundings

Grif is still despairing over being back in Blood Gulch, despite the others' attempts to shut him up. Meanwhile, back at Zanzibar, Tex, Tucker, and Caboose discover that Church is back in ghost form again. Church explains that he was literally scared out of his body after being ambushed by the Alien in the last episode, though his attempts to explain this are repeatedly interrupted by Caboose's stupidity and Tucker's attempt to hijack the flashback and showcase his sexual fantasies; Tucker wisely ends quickly so as to avoid getting his head blown off by Tex. Tucker uses the catch phrase "Bow-chicka-bow-wow" in this episode for the first time, much to Church's annoyance.

Hunting Time

In Blood Gulch, the Red Team takes potshots at Grif with their sniper rifles in order to get him to stop screaming. Grif eventually relents, and the team prepares to investigate their old base. Sarge gives a speech about alertness, completely unaware that Sheila is roaming around behind him. Meanwhile, the Blues prepare to hunt the Alien that scared Church. When asked about the Alien's whereabouts, Andy proves unhelpful, merely offering insults instead. Suddenly, the Blues spot the Alien, causing them to fire wildly and run away in panic - with the exception of Caboose, who simply asks, "Did we win?".

Fight or Fright

Simmons tries to convince Sarge that he did see a tank behind him. Donut concurs, but Sarge disregards his testimony because he is "impressionable", and Grif simply denies it in order to make Simmons look bad. Meanwhile, the Blues insult each other over their previous panicked, wild fire attack on the alien. Tex decides to go in alone and dashes into the complex while the rest debate Church's heroism (or lack thereof). Upon entering the complex, Tex is immediately cut down and re-appears in ghost form. Back at Blood Gulch, Simmons and Donut get into a fistfight/hijacking match over the hovercraft, which Simmons wants to use to find the tank. Believing that Simmons has gone insane, Sarge promotes Grif to his "Number Two" man, but Grif quickly loses the position due to his laziness. On the Blue side, Tucker suggests that Caboose goes into the complex and speak to the alien. Church likes the idea because he and Tex could sneak in and retrieve their bodies while the Alien is chewing on Caboose. Caboose enters, sees Andy, and asks whether he has seen the Alien. As he finishes his sentence he sees the Alien's shadow on the ground.

Fair Competition

Simmons has completely fallen out of favor with Sarge, and in fact is now ordered by the judge — Donut wearing a judge's wig — to stand at least 200 yards away from the rest of the Reds. As a result, Sarge begins to hold a competition to determine who will be his new right-hand man. Grif is automatically disqualified for being Grif, which puts the competition down to Donut, Lopez's old wrench, and a skull found nearby. Simmons laments the ruination of his life, and concedes to himself that maybe he did imagine seeing the tank. Sheila's voice is suddenly heard right behind him, begging to differ. Meanwhile, back at Zanzibar, the Blues are startled to discover that Caboose has actually managed to tame the Alien, thanks to his kindness — or, more likely, that the alien found him unpalatable, and no longer wants to eat him or anything that looks like him. The Blues insult the alien while trying to understand its language, which seems to consist entirely of blarg and honk.

Lost in Triangulation

At the Zanzibar fortress, Church asks Gary whether he can translate the Alien's speech for them. Gary reveals the alien's race were his creators, but unfortunately he knows virtually nothing about the race because he was programmed entirely with knowledge of the Shisno. The Blues continue to try translating what the alien is saying, and eventually reach the conclusion that the Alien's name might be "Honk Honk". Church even believes that he figured out that blarg means yes in the alien's language, though Tex argues that it could also mean no. Meanwhile at Blood Gulch, the Reds continue Sarge's right-hand-man contest, which Donut ultimately wins. Simmons has become despondent and suicidal, and Sheila (whom Simmons believes is a figment of his imagination) tries to cheer him up by leading him back to her home, a reconstructed Blue base. Sheila reveals that she has lost many of her memories due to circuit degradation over the years. She knows that her final mission was to protect the Blue Base from the enemy of the Blues, and though she has forgotten their identity, she vaguely remembers it was an army of a different color. Simmons, immediately realizing that his life is in danger, unsuccessfully tries to convince Sheila that the enemy was space pirate cowboy monkey ninjas who were trying to round up some cattle.

The Hard Stop

Tucker tries to teach the Alien how to speak English while Donut keeps Simmons away from the Red Base.

Previous Commitments

The Blues find someone to translate the Alien language while Simmons mounts an assault on the Red Base.

Looking for Group

Tucker, Caboose, Andy and the Alien prepare for a dangerous quest while Grif tries to talk Simmons out of killing all the reds.

Exploring Our Differences

Simmons takes Grif hostage while Church has a heart to heart with Tucker about his dangerous quest.

Setting a High Bar

Donut and Sarge investigate Grif's kidnapping, while the Quest team arrives at the burning planes to face a demon.

Getting All Misty

Sarge's rescue attempt goes awry while the Quest team uses Tucker as bait.

Talk of the Town

The Quest team arrives at the freezing planes while Church negotiates a surrender with Donut.

Sneaking In

Tex storms the Freezing Planes base while Donut explains to Sarge and Grif how he led the greatest military operation ever to free them.

You Keep Using That Word

Sheila gets mad over Church's new fleet while a new Spartan creates an obstacle for the Quest.

Getting Debriefed

Simmons comes back to the Red Base while the Quest team return from a disastrous encounter.

Under the Weather

At the Blue Base, Tucker becomes ill and while at the Red Base, Simmons meets resistance from Donut and Grif.

Right to Remain Silenced

Simmons attempts to report the Blue's plans, while O'Malley, Doc, and Lopez return to the gulch.

Things Are Looking Down

Sarge, Simmons, and Grif race towards the Blue Base, while Donut attempts to communicate in Spanish.

Two for One

Doc examines Tucker and the Reds discuss the appropriateness of hand to hand combat, sniping, and nuclear warfare.

The Arrival

Doc and Church discuss Tucker's pregnancy, while Andy plays Command's message for the Reds.

Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles, Part 4

You Can't Park Here

It's the happy day for the Blood Gulch crew as new arrivals upset everything.

Got Your Back

As Church argues with Simmons and Grif, a tapping noise begins to sound from the ship. Sheila abruptly leaves, forcing Church to retreat to the base.

Baby Steps

Church attempts to call Vic for reinforcements, but is stalled by an elaborate answering machine system. Meanwhile, the back door of the ship opens, and an unseen entity emerges.

Sibling Arrivalries

Church finally discovers that Vic's voice mailbox is full. The Red reinforcement who emerged from the ship is revealed to be the Sister of Grif, who by Simmons' theory arrived using the ship's light drive, which caused her and the ship to move forward in time as it was traveling to Blood Gulch. Meanwhile, it is revealed that Donut fell into an underground cave (Waterworks in Halo 2) after the ship crashed on top of him.

The Grif Reaper

As Caboose attempts to see the new Red soldier using the sniper rifle, Church speculates as to what combat skills the reinforcement may have. Tucker wakes from his coma and joins them, immediately identifying the new soldier as a girl from hundreds of feet away. Sister explains to the Reds that, following the death of a Team Commander, Command has promoted a soldier to the position and sent her to fill the new low-level opening. Since Command seems to presume him dead, the Reds decide to hold an impromptu funeral for Sarge.

In Memoriam

The Red Team holds Sarge's funeral, each giving a separate eulogy. Grif makes jokes; Simmons announces his campaign for Red leader; and Sister goes on a tangent about death and age. Finally Sarge, disgruntled, is buried alive.

Strong Male Figure

Tucker is introduced to Junior. Meanwhile, Sister reveals that she was told the dead Commander died of an aspirin-overdose. It is explained she is colorblind, and the "Blue guys" were the ones that really sent her. Underground, Donut wakes up and finds two suits of Blue armor.

Yellow Fever

The Reds argue whether to keep Sister, before Grif secretly decides to rid the team of her before the still-buried Sarge discovers her Blue allegiance. Doc examines Sheila for her random behavior since abandoning Church in episode 79. Grif confronts the Blues and convinces them to take Sister. Simmons appears after trying to dig up Sarge, and proclaims him missing.

Brass Tacks

Church gives Sister an orientation, before Tex arrives. Meanwhile, Simmons explains that he discovered a large cavern under Sarge's grave.

The Nesting Theory

Grif and Simmons decide to enter the cave. Meanwhile, Tex is firing at the Blues to try and deduce who is being possessed by O'Malley. Church starts to suspect that Sheila is possessed by O'Malley, causing her malfunction. Tex notices Sister, and reacts jealously.

Spelunked

Soon after Sarge awakens underground, Donut discovers him. As Tex and Sister talk, Church and Tucker discuss having two girls at the base. Back in the cavern, Donut points out what he believes to be a subterranean Blue base, the two bodies he found earlier, and a vehicle resembling the "motorcycle" he stole from O'Malley. Simmons and Grif reestablish radio contact with Sarge, and decide to meet.

The Haystack

Simmons and Grif are shot with projectiles which resemble tranquilizers in effect while waiting for Sarge and Donut. The Blues decide to reboot Sheila.

Terms and Provisions

Doc decides to give Sister a physical. Donut and Sarge find a briefly unconscious Simmons who explains that his attackers have apparently taken Grif with them. At first reluctant, Sarge decides to go help find Grif after realizing his prized shotgun was taken too. Using a tracking device in Grif's armor, they discover he is about a tenth of a mile away and head to find him. The Blues decide Caboose will distract Sheila while Tex shuts her down.

Missed Direction

Tucker and Junior overhear Doc's inspection of Sister. Meanwhile, the Reds find Grif, who claims that he was questioned by his captors. As the Blues reboot Sheila, the tank shuts down just before revealing O'Malley's new host to Caboose.

Where Credit is Due

The Blues decide to transfer Sheila's intelligence to the crashed ship's on-board computer. Grif recounts his interrogation, and how Andy was present and translating for his captors, who are looking for "the kid and the sword".

Biting the Hand

Tex recounts the events of Red vs. Blue: Out of Mind. When York's presence in the future is questioned, Tex comments that, as part of her division's AI implantation process, his armor's special healing ability might have kept him alive. When it is revealed Wyoming teleported away from her before she could question him, Church remembers Gary's ability to create teleporters, and decides he must be Wyoming's AI, Gamma. Church is then called by Vic and told to attack the Reds via the caves. Meanwhile, the Red team discover a surveillance system watching over Blood Gulch in the cavern.

Tucker Knows Best

Church somewhat follows Vic's instructions by sending Doc, Sister and Junior through the caves while Church, Tex and Tucker attack the Red base head on. Tucker gives some unhelpful life advice to Junior before heading off. Caboose stays at the base to ensure Sheila's transfer is not disrupted.

Loading....

The Reds see the Blues advancing on their base on the surveillance system, prompting them to find their way out of the cavern to invade the deserted Blue base. Caboose asks Sheila, now uploaded into the ship, where O'Malley is, relaying Tex the answer. Tex then confronts Church, calling him "O'Malley." Doc and Sister head through the caves, where they find Lopez's disembodied head.

The Wrong Crowd

Sarge calls Command for reinforcements, and Simmons hears an echo and leaves to investigate. He traces Vic Jr.'s voice back to the surveillance monitors, and as Simmons' voice is heard, he quickly hangs up on Sarge; the Reds assume the equipment is interfering with their radio signals. Meanwhile, Caboose explains that Sheila said O'Malley was inside the "Blue Leader." Church protests that he was never officially promoted to that position, and is not O'Malley's host. In the caves, Doc, Sister and Junior are approached by a new Alien and his partner, a revived Captain Butch Flowers, now host to O'Malley.

Hard Boiled

Red vs. Blue centers on the Red and Blue Teams, two groups of soldiers engaged in a civil war. Each team occupies a small base in a box canyon known as Blood Gulch. According to Simmons (Gustavo Sorola), one of the Red Team soldiers, each team's base exists only in response to the other team's base. Although both teams generally dislike each other and have standing orders to defeat their opponents and capture their flag, neither team's soldiers are usually motivated to fight each other- if they are otherwise, neither are efficient. Teammates have an array of eccentric personalities and often create more problems for each other than for their enemies.

Red vs. Blue

Episodes

Synopsis